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“Got kitesurfing on the mind, mixed with some search & classification tech, and a dab of political ranting”

Weekend at Squaw…

Posted by direwolff on April 29, 2005

After a totally lackluster snowboard season (for me that is), tonight I’m off to Squaw Creek to spend the weekend with my girlfriend Lil’ Pinot for some fun in the snow and to celebrate my special day. Getting a year older has this contemplative effect on me, that while I used to look forward to it, now just wears on me. It’s the culmination of a year’s worth of doubts, and questions, and feelings, that I feel a need to come to terms with. Like there’s no more running, it’s like this “you’re at another mile marker and you gotta deal with these things now” type of feeling.

Plenty of questions, not enough answers. Am I where I wanted to be at this point of my life? Am I being accountable for my actions? Have I been respectful of others and myself? Where I haven’t, did I do the best I could to deal with these situations? Does it feel like I’m being disciplined and responsible in my commitments? Am I living the life I want to live? Like I said, lots of questions…

Fortunately, I’m spending the weekend with Lil’ Pinot which will help to keep me from overwhelming myself with sorrow, as I move through the phases of self exploration. In contrast to my frequent negative outlooks, Lil’ Pinot does the exact opposite, as she views everything with a positive light, and always looks for the best in people. Probably why I feel in her a counter balance, more of a soulmate aspect to our relationship than with any one else I’ve ever dated…oh yeah, and she’s a hell of a skier and cyclist too.

Hopefully, the perfect spring conditions (given that it snowed some yesterday and more is expected on Sunday, but don’t let the picture above fool you, it sure ain’t gonna be like that) will help inspire me into this new year. It’s also nice to be among the trees and the mountains as it’s not likely that I’ll spend another weekend from now ’til the end of October not being in or on water rather than snow. So one more shot at the mountains should be fun to get some clean air in my lungs and in my soul.

Between Lil’ Pinot and the Sierras, this weekend of self-exploration could actually be fun and inspiring, so as the Nike commercial tells it, it’s time to…just do it!

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